Stuckey
Member
Registered: 5th Jun 02
Location: Plumstead, Greater London
User status: Offline
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i highlighted my fav's 
Top 30 Sexist Jokes
> 1. Why did God create woman?
> To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
> 2. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
> The swallow 3. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
> Phone her.
> 4. Why do women fake orgasms?
> Because they think men care.
> 5. What is the definition of "making love"?
> Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
> 6.What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
> Slow down and use a lubricant.
> 7. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
> Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your [w]hole weak.
> 8. How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb?
> None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
> 9. What's the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B.S.E?
> One's mad cow disease; the other's an agricultural problem.
> 10. Why does the bride always wear white?
> Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and
refrigerator.
> 11. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
> Nothing, she's been told twice already.
> 12. How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
> 13. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what
have
> you done wrong?
> Made her chain too long.
> 14. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
> Marry it!
> 15. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
> A battery has a positive side.
> 16. What are the three fastest means of communication?
> 1) Internet 2) Telephone 3)Tel-a-woman
> 17. Why do hunters make the best lovers?
> Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once, and they eat
what
> they shoot.
> 18.How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
> They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
> 19. What should you give a woman who has everything?
> A man to show her how to work it.
> 20. How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
> They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking,and in the end you
lose your house.
> 21.Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
> She knows she's given her last blow-job.
> 22.What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
> A whore sleeps with everyone at the party while a bitch sleeps with
> everyone at the party except you.
> 23. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
> After 10 years the job still sucks.
> 24. What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
> Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
> 25.Why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called a
> waist"?
> Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
> 26. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
> When you take it off, you wonder where her tits went.
> 27. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
> Put a nipple on it.
> 28. Why did the woman cross the road?
> What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
> 29. Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?
> Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
> 30. How is a woman like a condom?
> Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick
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[Edited on 22-09-2003 by Stuckey]
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